Christmas begins with CHRIST

I should be in bed right now but my mind refuses to turn off. This seems to happen quite a bit during the holiday season, much to my dismay, my grey-matter is much too preoccupied with things that are not worthy of such attention. I have been thinking about things I wish I had, things I wish I could get for people I love, things I wish life would hand me on a silver platter. I spend too much time telling myself why I don't need all these things when I should really just be focusing on being grateful for the things I have been given. 
Days are shorter and colder now, and my little Energizer bunny who is actually a little girl and not a bunny, goes bonkers if left indoors for more than 4 hours during the day SO we went to the mall. Not to shop, may I clarify, but to let her roam around the children's area. She was in complete awe and I was happy to just sit and ponder as I watcher her attempt to climb up and go down the slide by herself. 
All the things that I have previously mentioned circled my mind. Again and again. Over and over, until- the worst thought made it's uninvited presence in my mindless mind: "I hate Christmas". I couldn't believe I had let myself think those nasty and very untrue words. I LOVE Christmas! I look for Christmas music on the radio the morning after Halloween, for crying out loud.
I am still a bit shocked and ashamed at myself. Why would I think such a thing?
Kamila played, ran, and then it was time to get some substance in her so we went home. As we exited through Nordstrom in all of its glory with its red carpet rolled out for its refined, fancy valuable customers, I realized how much I was forgetting what Christmas is supposed to feel like. I miss those days when the best part of Christmas was on the 24th and all the cousins and aunts would come over for dinner and games and even a huge slumber party. Watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas at 10:00 and being told by our parents that the longer we stayed up, the longer Santa would take to get there; that would send us into a silly giddy laughing spell. The days where a quiet, reverent evening of thought and remembrance of the Savior's birth would strike a deep chord within that made me feel as if the entire world outside our festive and warm home was also still and quiet in observance of His special birth.
Christmas begins with CHRIST. Not with shiny, silver boxes from a trendy department store; not with huge lit trees or wonderfully decorated neighborhoods. It begins with Him and with us. Tonight, I am particularly grateful for the many blessings I have been given. I am grateful for my husband and daughter; for our parents, siblings, and their wonderful companions and children; for friends that are genuinely friends that care and reach out when we need them, for living in this special and magnificent country, and for having the only gospel in my life. I know that Christ lives; I know that Joseph Smith was an instrument in His hands; I know that families can be together forever and that I will see my grandfather again as well as all the ancestors I never met; I know that His church is true and that that jolly, kind and tenderhearted man called Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God. I know that my Heavenly Father and His Son live- and that they know who I AM, who you are; They know the matters behind our heavy hearts and the reasons that make us smile. They know me inside out. But do I know THEM?
This is for you, my dear friend (you know who you are). Thank you for sharing your heart with me tonight. I think I needed to hear from you... someone upstairs is also awaiting. Thank you for making Christmas come alive for me this day.